I'm a weird mood. I don't know. I don't know how to explain this state i'm in. Is it possible to be upset without knowing the cause? well I think I know the problem. but its hard to admit to myself. Tell me world, how to stop being so indecisive. I seem to live my life always in the gray and never in the black or white. I guess i would rather live in a more colorful world but those standards seem hard to obtain. I need this damn program to start so i stop feeling so empty.... maybe thats it. i just feel....empty and alone in a sense. i feel awful saying this but my head is just spinning with ideas, thoughts, and pain. Things I have a hard time expressing in words. i just dont know when i started feeling so...BLAH. i think ive been doing somethings to numb my thoughts and feelings for so long and for once im thinking clearing and having to face this reality. Someone once told me if you dont like the cake change the ingredients, i thought that was a pretty good analogy. I'm not very happy/content with my life, i need to change something. What though i dont know. I hope no one is actually reading this, none of my thoughts make sense. i just need a place to vent. I have an interview tomorrow for a job, hope this shit happens. seriously not being productive has made mee feel like a shitty useless person.i think im slowly getting stupider by the passing days.
ALright early day for me, maybe for you as well. Goodnight fellow bloggers.
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